Refuse To Be Silenced

I had the pleasure of being able to read this book over the past 2 and a half days, and it has been an emotional roller coaster for me as I read. This book had me hopeful, joyful, angry, and deeply, deeply sorrowful for the events that happened to the beautiful young author.

The book is 301 pages, but even at the end, I desired to know more. I felt a keen want for more of the inspirational words that flowed through the pages, the inner thoughts of this author as she recounted her past experiences, and to know more about how this author felt. But as I read the book again, certain parts stood out to me that told me explicitly how she felt, and how she still feels.

While the book may at times read like a story of defeat, to me it reads like a story of victory. The author, Kelsey Purcell, is brutally honest about what decisions she made, what happened to her, and how she finally got out of the intensely abusive relationship she found herself trapped in. Without that transparent honesty there, the book wouldn't be as successful and powerful as it is.

The way the author writes about her experiences keeps us close and personal as readers, and it is such a smooth read that I didn't want to put the book down, and most of the times I didn't. The tension and buildup was perfectly orchestrated to keep the reader hooked, knowing something was about to happen. And as this is a work of nonfiction, we knew these events would be true, and it stung us that much more when we found out what had happened.

One of my favorite tools Kelsey utilizes is inner voice. Although she told the events in order, the reader already knew something would happen because of the way the she informed us of these inside thoughts, as a way to let us know she's recounting these events, looking at them retrospectively. And I absolutely love how she does this, because it intensifies the story being told.

Kelsey's use of metaphors, analogies, irony, pathos, symbolism, and tools similar to these help boost the message of her story.

The story of love, abuse, depression, anxiety, heartbreak, fear, and desperation comes through so flawlessly and full of emotion. What makes this story so amazing and powerful is how each event flows into one another. There's no guessing about what happened, no inconsistencies, raw emotion so real we couldn't doubt it, and most of all, the truth being told through honest eyes.

How many times do we get a victim of abuse telling their story in such a victorious manner? Not very often. How many times do we get a victim telling the entire story truthfully, admitting their faults? Almost never. And I cannot express how much I admire this author because of her strength to share her story.

Another thing I love about this story is how God is very prevalent in her life, and how she isn't afraid to show how much faith has played a role in overcoming this trial. A lot of Christians could be timid about telling such a story and proclaiming their faith, but the fact that Kelsey has no shame and no fear of sharing her faith makes this book more genuine than ever.

One aspect I really enjoyed with this style of writing was the way Kelsey incorporated her poems into each chapter, relating them to what was going on in each section of the story. It was very creative and ingenious, something rarely done in books. The poems were refreshing but raw, brutal but timid, loving but harsh. They contain so many different emotions in the lines and in-between the lines that it baffles me. Kelsey truly has a gift for poetry, and she utilized her God-given ability to prove a point and show off her strength.

Another thing I admire about her.

My favorite poem is from Chapter 23, the very last chapter. It encapsulates the entire book in a page. That is a very hard thing to accomplish, yet she does so through her cleverly written words and beautifully executed emotions. Really, Kelsey, well done. It was an amazing poem.

The dialogue throughout the book was real and I commend the author for remembering all of it so well and so clearly. It's probably one of the toughest things to recall when writing a nonfiction. The true recollection of the event makes Kelsey's story even more believable and authentic.

If I could describe Kelsey's book in 3 words, it would be this:

1. Inspiring

2. Authentic

3. Raw

Inspiring because of the message within this book, and how it gives other people who have experienced something similar to this hope and an outlet to share their story.

Authentic because the author is so genuine, honest, and tells the story brutally. She openly admits her mistakes, what she was doing, owned up to her story, and accepted what happened to her and used it as a stepping stone.

Raw because of all the emotions flooding this book; from the joy, the hurt, the pain, the love, the tears, and even the hope, this book was filled to the brim with emotions without making the readers feel overwhelmed. Brilliant execution of writing with emotions.

Additionally, I got the wonderful pleasure of actually talking with Kelsey about her book. We both attended Midwestern State University, although she's already graduated college (congratulations again!) and I have a year left, we talked on and off for a little while. It's something else that connected me to this book, because as she described events on campus, I knew exactly when she was going through this. So after I heard she released this book, I knew I had to read it, and I'm so glad I did.

After reaching out to Kelsey, she graciously allowed me to write this article, as well as ask her a few questions about her experience and her thoughts. She's been wonderful and such an incredible light through this whole ordeal, and I admire her very much.

When asked about her experience and struggle, I questioned when she realized this traumatic season of her life was for a greater purpose. It's extremely hard to admit that bad things in life happen for good reasons, especially when something personal happens, such as this abuse Kelsey experienced. I asked about her faith, and how she realized it was for God's glory, and how she accepted this purpose through the pain.

Kelsey realized her abusive relationship was for God's glory the day she got out of it, thanks to God's guidance and love towards her. In her book, Kelsey talks often about her writing, and how she feels like God speaks to her through her poems, and that's exactly how she connected with Him that day. When I asked Kelsey about these things, she responded:

"I don't think I understood the magnitude of how He would use me until months later when I started having girls reach out to me to share their own struggles of being in bad relationships. At that point, I hadn't been open about what I had gone through, so I knew God was placing me on their hearts for a reason. I was able to use my experience as a story of hope for them, and in the process, I encouraged them in their faith."

Kelsey truly felt her calling was to write this book, to listen and talk to those girls who reached out to her, and to strengthen her faith and be a light for others to see Christ. Her prayers were always asking God to give her strength and to let her give everything to Him. That is an extremely tough prayer. We - as humans - like to take control of things and try to figure it out on our own. Kelsey said that's why she felt compelled to write this book, to follow up on God's wishes - even as scary as it was.

Kelsey said it was easy to ask "why me?" since she had gone through such a thing, but other events in her life led her to believe there was more to be done, and she trusted God even more during the situation she was presented with.

Kelsey then began to ask this question: "why not me?" That is an incredibly impactful question, because it shifted the focus off of fear and blame to confidence and hope. She knew God had her in His arms and would take care of her, and she took an amazing leap of faith because of it. Kelsey worded it this way:

"I knew because I had God in my heart, I could make it through anything, whereas someone who doesn't know God might not be able to handle the same situation. I am so blessed with the life I live, even after being abused and raped. Had I not gone through those things, there may still be many people out there who feel alone and without God. Because I was able to share my story, anyone who reads it doesn't have to feel that way anymore."

What an incredible young woman! To have the strength and courage to stand up and speak out about this event we would all tag as horrific and call it a blessing is something so incredible, it's almost unfathomable. Kelsey sets an example for people in relationships that are abusive. She shows how even the broken are still strong, have a voice, can be happy, and can still love life. And she makes it a point to say it was because she had God on her side. To me, as a fellow Christian, He is a huge factor in her success. She words it perfectly by saying "He sacrificed His Son so that I could be with Him one day. Me sacrificing myself and my heart to better serve Him could never compare to all He has given me."

Amen, Kelsey!

The last set of questions I asked Kelsey (which I apologize again for the hard questions) was loaded, but she answered me graciously.

Coming to terms with what happened in her relationship was and is hard, as it is for anyone who suffers the same fate. She knew that firsthand. I asked Kelsey what advice she had for people who may be in an abusive relationship, as well as what signs were visible, and what she would say was the best advice to help others accept what happened to them?

Like I said, a loaded question. However, Kelsey answered these questions brilliantly and eloquently.

Her advice to others is to pay attention to early signs of manipulation: "That means someone who puts you down, someone who is easily angered, someone who is very insecure with themselves, someone who calls you crazy - those are things to look for early."

Kelsey says if you miss these signs early on, you can easily find yourself in an abusive relationship. But she warns us "that abuse is not love. Someone who loves you doesn't want to hurt you."

That is so very true. And this exact thought is echoed in her book as a fact. The way Cameron treated Kelsey was not loving. It was so far from it actually. But at the time, in the situation, it was hard to see it as anything but loving. Cameron only abused Kelsey because of his own insecurities and his own desires and imperfections. Now, everybody has imperfections and all of that, but acting on those flaws to degrade someone else is what Kelsey is describing in her answer, and what she demonstrates through her book.

Kelsey also says there is ALWAYS a way out. You can still leave even when you feel you can't: "You can leave because you are strong, even though your abuser has made you feel weak."

Kelsey demonstrates this answer in her book because she did leave Cameron. Now, was it perfect and did she never struggle with him again? No. But what in life ever comes easy to us? Nothing. Of course it would be difficult for her to move on and break free, even though she was abused. The key to this answer was Kelsey's relationship with God. He pulled her away from that situation. He gave her the strength to know she was strong enough to leave and stay away.

A strong relationship should be two people in love, showing God's love to one another and being Christ-like. That's something Kelsey realized, and explains by saying God is the only person you actually need because His love sustains you. And in a relationship, you should look for someone who cares about you like God does. While we aren't perfect like God, we can certainly demonstrate His love by the way we treat others:

"There is no perfect person, but you should not have to fix someone who is so hurt they have to hurt everyone around them until they too feel broken."

It is a very true statement, and I commend Kelsey for her bravery and wisdom in this situation. She has reached a milestone in not only her life, but as a role model for Christians and non-Christians.

I thank Kelsey again for answering my questions and allowing me to do this review on her book. Refuse To Be Silenced is a 10/10 book, and something I highly recommend to everyone. To me, it is a must read. To see this story play out through true events and through powerful words and storytelling amplifies her message. And her questions only back up her story more, and they don't differentiate from what she tells through this book.

Like Kelsey says, "The only power anyone has over you is the power you allow them to have," and those confident words ring true in her book, her story, her faith, her answers, and the hopeful outlook she chose to give life. I praise God for her strength and power, because she truly has gained a testimony so many can hear.

The story of overcoming the darkest moments and stepping out into the light, coming out on top, is truly remarkable. I believe more stories like this should be written and put out there for people to read. It's people like Kelsey who aren't afraid to speak out and be an outlet for others that inspire the world. Be bold. Embrace your situation. Trust in God. And conquer your demons. Kelsey has done just that. And I know she's not the only one. Let her message be a cry of victory for those who have remained voiceless until now.

Please show your support to this author by clicking on the link below to go to her website and download the free eBook or pdf file of Refuse To Be Silenced. Again, thank you all for reading. It has been an honor and pleasure to do this review.

http://Refusetobesilenced.com