Redefining Who I Am

If there is one thing I've learned this year, it's this: change, while sometimes is uncomfortable and not fun, is also sometimes necessary.

A lot has happened this year, and no one could have predicted the change that happened to everyone in 2020. Some of it good, some of it bad.

Well, a lot of it bad, but let's focus on the positives here.

You can find all sorts of positive quotes on the internet. My favorite place to go for them is Pinterest, or even the classic Google Images.

My life has completely changed from what it was last year. I've lost a lot: people, jobs, relationships, and more. And when things like this happen, you have one of two choices:

1. Let those heartbreaks and tragedies define you

2. Take the lessons from what happened and move forward.

I decided it was time for me to press forward.

There are many ways you can do this. There have been many ways I've done this.

One of the most important parts of redefining who you are amidst a drastic change in your life is the way you think. Your mind controls and influences a whole lot more than we believe it does.

Think about the positives. Think about what you can learn. How you can help others like you. How you can take what happened to you and turn it into the best possible outcome.

Then start taking action.

Here's a short list of actions to take when redefining yourself to become the best possible version of who you are:

1. Change Your Thinking

2. Cleanse

3. Look Towards the Future

4. Focus on What You Can Control

5. Find A New Hobby

Changing your thinking turns you from the mindset of being a victim, and your thoughts can change from "Why me?" to "This happened, so what can I do to move forward?"

It may not sound like a lot, but the effort it takes to completely change your mindset from negative to positive requires a lot of energy and intentional time. The work it takes though is completely worth the result. Just don't get frustrated if you automatically can't get to the positive side of thinking.

It takes time. You'll go back and forth. You'll relapse. And it's okay. Just always remember to keep striving forward.

Cleansing is actually incredibly therapeutic and SO much fun. For me, I cleansed a lot of different things:

A. Clothes

B. Items

C. Shoes

D. Old Belongings

I nearly completely cleared out my closet of clothes. I put clothes and shoes into bags to be donated. I threw away old items that reminded me of bad memories. Old possessions I had that I didn't use anymore I boxed up to be donated or given away.

And it felt GOOD.

That physical cleanse is so rewarding. I felt so much cleaner and just lighter after I got done. It can be very refreshing to get rid of old things so you can welcome in the new.

That's part of redefining.

Looking towards the future, I began thinking about what I want. Things I would like to do, or wear, or where I would like to go. And I stopped caring what others might think about it.

I want to go to concerts. I want to redefine my wardrobe to fit my new mindset. I want to travel across the world someday.

Those are a few of the new things on my list. And guess what?

I'm going to do all of those.

It gives me something to look forward to. Some of it, like the clothes shopping, is more in the immediate future and something I can do in short-term. Concerts are something I can look at within a year, and travelling can be long-term goals: whether it takes me a year or ten years, I am going to travel.

It pushes me to find ways to do that. To find opportunities and be willing to explore.

Focusing on what I can control, I first have to stop blaming myself for something I couldn't have possibly stopped.

I couldn't stop the ones I loved from passing. I could never be in control of something like that.

I couldn't stop the loss of my job. I wasn't in control of the pandemic that swept across the world and caused a lot of people to lose their jobs.

What I can control, however, is who is in my life, what I do with my life, and how I manage my life.

I cut out toxic people from my life. I refocused my efforts on people I do want to be part of my life.

I revamped my ideals of what I want out of my life and the efforts of how I'm going to get it.

I'm managing my life by being the best I can be given the situation I've been placed in. I stay humble, think about what I can do for others, focus on how I can advance my writing, and how I can make positive impacts everywhere I go.

Become intentional, realistic, and driven. Be passionate about your life, who you are, and what you want.

Focus on your thoughts, actions, and see what you can do with what you're given. Stop thinking, "If only I had this, I could do this."

Whatever you're given, whether it be a lot or a little, see what you can do with it. Take what you have and turn it into something more. It is possible. I've seen it happen to multiple people plenty of times.

And finally, find a new hobby. Something that interests you that maybe you haven't done before. Or maybe a hobby you used to have but stopped due to whatever reasons. It may sound strange, but having hobbies and things you can do on the side not only gives you stress-relievers, but it stimulates your mind and makes you happy.

I've picked up quite a few hobbies this year. I love them all, and I am honestly happy to have these hobbies.

It could be anything. Here are some hobbies you could pick up:

1. Crocheting

2. Knitting

3. Sewing

4. Painting/Drawing

5. Writing Poems

6. Reading

7. Baking

8. Interior Design

9. Hiking

10. Gardening

11. Photography

12. Dancing

13. Blogging

14. Working Out

15. Learning An Instrument

There are endless opportunities for hobbies to pick up. Find something that interests you, or something you've been thinking about wanting to try for awhile, and give it a go! Hobbies are incredibly fun and entertaining, and you can often find peace in doing something that isn't "essential".

For me, I've picked up 7 from the list above. I don't do them all in one day, but rather throughout the week I'll choose one depending on what I feel like doing. It isn't stressful. It isn't forced. It's something to do that I can enjoy myself.

Redefining yourself doesn't have to be throwing away who you used to be to create someone new. It can be as simple as becoming the best version of yourself and taking actions to ensure the change happens.

I'm still in the process of redefining who I am, but so far I have loved the journey. I'll continue to grow into the best me I can be, and continue to strive for excellence by my standards.

Stay safe, stay well. Sending all my love to everyone!

Haylee